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I am joining the spoken word poetry group at Brown on Thursday which means new work will inevitably be up soon...
I have been so very busy that I have neglected this wonderful place called deviantart. I may be making a few appearances on here in the near future. Who knows. Does anyone even look at my dA anymore? Probably not.
So I'm home from camp.

My senior year is beginning.

aka the craziest year of my life.

My projects include recording a CD of rearranged music (I need to do the arranging first..), a huge service project in the making, and oh, the whole college application thing. All minor stuff. Along with taking four APs this year, it'll be a BREEZE.

So I'm taking a break from dA. Alvida, I hope we meet again.

I'm working at camp away from home for ten weeks. Well only eight and a half weeks left.

So I will respond to the lovely 213 messages when I get home


PS. Alvida is Hindi for goodbye.

Dear dA,

I feel like I owe you a journal. I've been home from Jamaica for just over a week now and each day that passes I am more and more unhappy.
I need to be in Jamaica with the kids.

What we have here, the things we put in our lives, they all crowd what really happiness,
real love is.

I think next year I'll take online classes for me senior year of high school and go work at a school in India. Now all I have to do is convince my parents.

  • Listening to: Casimir Pulaski Day
In just over three weeks, I'll be in Jamaica.

three weeks.

three weeks

I just have to keep telling myself it will all be worth it when I see the smiles on the kids faces...

because right now, all this medication is making me viciously sick.

(Maybe Malaria, Hep A and Typhoid would be easier to bear than the vaccines.)

  • Listening to: Yann Tiersen

I am 6,209 days old today.

Journal Entry: Sat Feb 14, 2009, 6:06 PM

"... I'm so afraid of losing something I love that I refuse to love anything"

happppppppy birthdayyyyyyy to meeeee.

I don't feel like I'm seventeen.

I think thattttt someone nice should buy me a subscription since it will run out in two weeks ):

(If you're thinking seventeen years is 6,205 days, add four days for leap years)


Kayla Ringelheim <-- clickity click click.
book by bluejewel24 Three Cups of Tea

  • Listening to: Kayla Ringelheim

Something interesting and an update...

Journal Entry: Fri Feb 6, 2009, 2:41 PM


"She wants to know if I love her, that's all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there, like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hall closet."

I thought I would share this with you all:
1) Click the following fancy link to get all the text from all your journals:…
2) Go to and click "create" then copy/paste the text from your journal in and click "go"
3) Be a little patient, it takes a minute. The words that are the biggest are the ones you use most often (:
I got this from: teknicolourkiss

Here is mine
It's pretty interesting...


Just an update:

++ Tonight it the winter ball at my school but I'm going to a friends house instead because I'm not one for spending a lot of money for semiformal/formal occasions when I could have more fun elsewhere.

++ I've been writing in a book I keep mostly for songwriting but it's very personal. So I haven't decided if I'll put it up given how many friends I see all of the time I have on here.

++ I've decided that I'm putting my dream of building schools in Uganda ahead of my dream of singing. But that doesn't mean I'm 'giving up' singing or anything of the like.

++ My to do list is overwhlemingly long but I'm making progress.

++I've been trying to start seeing someone about my anxiety problems because I've done some things I regret during panic attacks/etc. I'm hoping they'll make my life easier.

++I'm hopefully going to start running again starting Monday. I'm going to take it easy though because I know what it's like to set my expectations too high and feel like a failure for it. That's not going to happen.

++ Slumdog Millionaire. If you haven't seen it yet, go out and see it right now.


Before This Time - Ollabelle
book by bluejewel24 Three Cups of Tea

  • Listening to: Ollabelle


Journal Entry: Thu Jan 1, 2009, 3:47 PM


What are your New Years resolutions?


Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
book by bluejewel24 Everything is Illuminated

  • Listening to: Such Great Heights

Tea, guitar, and new snow.

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 19, 2008, 7:58 PM

It's vacation, but it doesn't feel like Christmas.

I start a seven day body detox on Christmas Day which is going to be difficult. But I like to challenge myself.

January 2nd I go to Boston to do some recording.

I realized how much I love someone the other day.

I have started a journal that I intend to write thoughts, dreams, and songs.

I'm so excited and nervous for everything in life at the same time.


Oedipus - Regina Spektor
book by bluejewel24 Everything is Illuminated

  • Listening to: Oedipus - Regina Spektor

I loved you first.

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 11, 2008, 5:27 PM

Itís like his eyes were made for diamond rings
His hands to handle precious things
His heart to flow like timid springs
His soul to fly with cut-out wings

  • Listening to: Samson - Regina Spektor

Not so lovely news.

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 23, 2008, 4:27 PM


"There are some people who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains."

The wife of the best teacher I've ever had passed away today from cancer. He told us on Friday he was going to take off a few weeks to spend with her, but this was too soon.

I don't understand how people go on after something like that.


Oltremare - Ludovico Einaudi

PS. ALTHEASOULLESS and teknicolourkiss still need to choose what they want me to do for getting my 10,000th pageview. "I don't know, you choose" does not suffice because I am too indecisive (:

  • Listening to: Einaudi


Journal Entry: Mon Nov 3, 2008, 4:29 PM

"Gypsies don't do well inside stone walls."

Hmmm well apparently two people caught my 10,000th pageview! XD
both :iconaltheasoulless: and :iconteknicolourkiss:
So I will make them both pretty things! Your choice: Poem, story, painting, drawing, etc. Choose and tell meee (:

So just an update from me.
I've been incredibly overwhelmed with school work, songwriting, desperately trying to raise money for my mission trip, organizing stuff at my church, and a crazy long list of things that go on. So I'm going to stop claiming that I will be more active on here because as much as I wish that could happen, my life is too much right now. So, if I do not respond to your comments, know that I read them! I really do read them all and I thank every lovely person who takes the time to leave responses on my journals and polls and deviations. So thank you.



We're Not Lily White - Courtney Marie Andrews

  • Listening to: Courtney Marie Andrews

Almost there..

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 2, 2008, 5:15 PM

"Gypsies don't do well inside stone walls."

Catch my 10,000th pageview and I'll make you something nice of your choosing?


We're Not Lily White - Courtney Marie Andrews

  • Listening to: Courtney Marie Andrews


Journal Entry: Tue Oct 14, 2008, 6:55 PM

"One of us will die inside these arms."

Whether it's mother, grandmother, cousin, dog, best friend, spouse, or stranger, who do you love?


Naked As We Came - Iron & Wine

  • Listening to: New Romantic - Laura Marling


Journal Entry: Mon Oct 13, 2008, 1:45 PM


"You give and take away."

A little five year old boy I babysit was abandoned by his mother a few weeks ago. She unintentionally became pregnant when she was too young and now she has left him. He's being raised by his grandparents right now, but a fear of abandonment has already worked its way into his little heart.

Maybe, if you're the religious type, prayers would help? I know he can use them, his grandparents who don't have the energy to raise a child could use them, and his mother could too, wherever she is.


New Romantic - Laura Marling

PS. I'm sorry I've been on a respite from deviantArt. My life is too overwhelming right now, and all of my energy for writing has gone into song writing. I've also been pretty sick and have bronchitis, a wicked sinus infection (that I need to take double doses of antibiotics for for double the normal time), and something wrong with my blood ):

  • Listening to: New Romantic - Laura Marling

Oh wow.

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 21, 2008, 3:33 PM


"Everything I've ever wanted to give you you've made me keep."…

I don't even know where to begin.
I had the most amazing day.
A choir director of mine who I've always respected a lot gave me a tour of Berklee School of Music today and then talked to me about singing. And he sees something in me, in my singing, that makes him think I could make it as a singer. So he wants to collaborate with me and do some recording since he's an independent producer, and OHMYGOSH.

I'm just.

I'm good enough?


100 Days, 100 Nights - Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings

  • Listening to: Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings

Tell me...

Journal Entry: Fri Sep 5, 2008, 10:01 AM


"I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down just to keep you around because the day that you realize how amazing you are... you're going to leave me"

What makes you smile?
What makes you frown?
What makes you laugh?
What makes you cry?
What makes you love?
What makes you hate?


Just A Little Bit - Maria Mena

  • Listening to: Maria Mena
  • Drinking: Green &quot;Tea


Journal Entry: Mon Aug 25, 2008, 10:52 AM

"And there is no, combination of words I could say, but I will still tell you one thing: We're better together."

I'm home.
I have 349587234892734 comments and journals and deviations so this is going to take a long time. Especially since school is starting. I won't be on dA as much. I need to really focus on school this year.

Camp was beyond amazing. I don't know if I've ever loved a group of people so much. I do have one regret, though, because there was one person I wanted to be with more than anyone else but I had my reasons for not showing it. I miss everyone like crazy.


'Better Together' - Jack Johnson
book by bluejewel24 The secrets we wrote down that night.

  • Listening to: Jack Johnson
  • Drinking: Green &quot;Tea

Question and temporary goodbye. [EDIT]

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 2, 2008, 7:55 AM


"She seemed to move everywhere dancing & music followed her like leaves on the wind."

Before I go...…
I will get back to ALL comments when I get home! :heart:


Have you ever been to a funeral?
Who was it for? Did you know them very well? How old were you?

I leave on Sunday morning for three weeks to be a CIT at my camp. Last year, those two weeks were the best of my life so I'm excited. So I hope to get back to me 23483749 comments and look at my 23948732872 deviations before I go but I have so much summer work to do before I go. So this will be a goodbye for three weeks come Sunday.


'En Gallop' - Joanna Newsom
book by bluejewel24 Writing Down the Bones


++I have an indescribable affection for Bridge to Terabithia.
++I'm known to back out of things last second, usually beyond my control, even though I hate it when a friend of mine does it (and she does quite often)
++Wizard rock is kind of the greatest thing ever.
++Incompetent is not a friendly word.
++I'm drowning in afterthoughts.
++I'm ridiculously nervous about the coming year because not only do my parents stress me for college because it's my junior year, but I have a lot of opportunities and I don't know which ones to take, if I can take any of them.

  • Listening to: Joanna Newsom
  • Reading: Writing Down The Bones
  • Drinking: Tea